This is a list of bad behaviors commonly displayed by people running meetings.  If the leader at your next meeting commits five or more of these acts of social dominance, stand up, indicate that you are feeling nauseous, and leave.  Ok., ok.  You’re too scared to walk out.  So send the leader your list anonymously.  Maybe he or she will do better next time.  For more details, check out Chapters four and five in The Ape In The Corner Office (Crown Publishing) by Richard Conniff.

□    The meeting is scheduled for mealtime, but no food is provided, and bringing your own is considered a mark of weakness.

□    The meeting leader shows up late.

□    After others are seated, the meeting leader stands up, takes off jacket, and gets comfortable.

□    The meeting leader controls the whiteboard or flip chart.

□    The meeting leader lets someone else control the whiteboard or flip chart, but later takes away the marker.

□    The meeting leader does most of the talking.

□    The meeting leader drops the F-bomb or other obscenities.

□    The meeting leader drops names of the CEO or other Bigwigs, especially with intimations of a close personal relationship.

□    The meeting leader uses jargon or buzzwords that other people don’t recognize.

□    The meeting leader reprimands people who fail to pay attention when he speaks.

□    The meeting leader looks away when other people are speaking.

• Yawns.

• Checks BlackBerry.

• Puts feet up on table.

• Picks Nose, Clips fingernails, or performs other personal hygiene (Two point bonus!)

• Belches, farts, or worse (THREE THREE THREE bonus points!)

□    The meeting leader cuts off a speaker.

□    The meeting leader criticizes the person rather than the idea.

• Says “That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.”

□    The meeting leader takes credit for someone else’s ideas or work.

□    The meeting leader publicly humiliates a subordinate or bumps someone off an assignment without explanation.

□    The meeting leader glowers at criticism.

□    The meeting leader fails to address questions.

□    The meeting leader does not provide a bathroom or refreshment break after a reasonable interval.

If you check off more than five items, get out your résumé now.  If ten or more, give notice.  This workplace can damage your brain.  (See p. 104, in The Ape In The Corner Office.) 

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